AIDS: The retribution for "improper sexual misconduct."

POVERTY: It is very beautiful for the poor to accept their lot. The world is much helped by the suffering of poor people.

HOMELESSNESS: The problems facing us are due to the fact that we are too distant from Jesus.

UNEMPLOYMENT: First we must learn to love one another.

ABORTION: Is the greatest enemy of peace.

OVERPOPULATION: There is no problem of overpopulation, only [of] God's will.

The 'kindly' little nun's bedside manner was demonstrated during a filmed interview where she told of her attendance to a patient suffering unbearable pain from terminal cancer.

Smiling at the camera, she told of her counsel to the patient. "You are suffering like Christ on the cross. So Jesus must be kissing you." She then freely related the response of the sufferer, apparently unaware that it was a put-down.

"Then please tell him to stop kissing me," he said.

from The Missionary Position, by Christopher Hitchens