The Doomsday List

It should be noted that very few of the doom-and-gloom purveyors are actually programmers. Those of us (like your ever humble list maintainer) who are involved with these systems on a daily basis tend to suspect that while there may be widespread outages and related problems, the worst that will happen is that a whole host of unlucky nerds will have to pull several all-nighters in front of their terminals. But we will get it fixed.

Update (1/4/2000): I think it is fairly safe to say that this prediction has mercifully failed. Was it a case of over-hype, or timely solution? You decide. In the meantime, would anyone like 800 tins of Beanie-Weenies?

Update (1/4/2000): We still seem to be here and functioning. I filled up my car with gas, and paid with my credit card. Credit card processing seemed to be unaffected by Y2K. The complete collapse of civilization as we know it appears to have made little impact on the daily lives of the inhabitants of our planet. However, Gary seems to be holding out some hope that death and destruction will slowly creep upon us in the coming months.

I think not.

Sounds like a pretty good description of the Nasdaq roller-coaster to me. Sigh.

Update (5/6/00): To the complete surprise of almost no-one (except, possibly, Mr. Noone), the end of the world has once again failed to arrive as scheduled. To his credit, Richard did strongly pepper his recent articles with weasel-words like "potential" and "possibly", but one suspects that life has once again thrown a would-be Jeremiah the proverbial curve ball. Now all Richard has to do is figure out where those voices in his head really came from...

Update (6/18/00): An addendum on Noone's home page makes the insightful observation that "...most earth change activity has not affected high population areas...". It does point out that there have been earthquakes across the Pacific Rim, however. Golly gee. Earthquakes in the most active tectonic plates on the planet? Who woulda thunk it...

Also, there will be a forty day period of fasting from August 20 to September 30. You have been warned. (Finally, a use for all those Y2K canned meats!)

Update (6/18/2000) : Well, it seems that Marilyn's third date for the first rapture came and went with no obvious Heavenly fanfare. What of the future? Marilyn seems to think that the Church is currently in a 10-day waiting period, based on Rev 2:10. That means that June 20 should see the Rapture. This time for sure.

Update (6/25/2000) : A new note on Marilyn's front page reads as follows:

Messianic Rabbi Michael Rood [www.6001.com] announced today on the Prophecy Club that the corrected Solar Calendar proves that Shavuot begins this year on July 9th. This because the barley was 'Abib', green/ripe, on June 5th.

This makes Oct. 28th Tishri 1, 6001.

If his calculations are correct then the Pentecost Rapture may still occur this year.

So there.

Update (7/2/2000) : More stupid calendar tricks. Poor old Noah has been pressed into service yet again as a harbinger of the End. In a long and very confusing piece of eisegesis, Marilyn somehow arrives at Av 19 (Aug 20) as a possible date for the Rapture. Says Marilyn:

"I wonder if the indwelling Holy Spirit of Christ will fly the dove (Bride) to her rest, Heaven, on Av 19 (Sunday, Aug. 20, 2000)?"

Uh...that would be a "no".

Update (7/17/00): Most of Robert's pages are now gone, with the exception of a home page that sports a spiffy image of a morphing alien coupled with a rather pathetic poem. Still he admonishes us not to trust those greys. I intend to take him seriously. Alien cookout, anyone? Hmmm...tastes like chicken...

Yup - it's metal helmet time, as several billion tons of rock come crashing down on us unsuspecting homo sapiens. And, with such remarkably accurate soothsayers on her side, how can Melody possibly fail to be wrong?

Not to worry, our resourceful exegete points out that several events in this time period confirm his predictions. O ye of little faith...

Update (8/27/00): Well, the Battle of Armageddon remains as elusive as ever. Have no fear, however, as Ephraim remains convinced that September 30 will mark the beginning of the Great Tribulation, and October 22 the Rapture. (Cool! On my birthday, too...)

Surf's up, dudes!

This means that he expects the invasion of God and Magog either at the end of September, 2000 or October 28, 2000.

One should also note that Jim has a page pointing to June 1, 2000 as a possible date for the Rapture, though he seems to be unsure about how seriously it should be taken, considering the source.

Looks like we won't have to worry about whom to vote for in November.

James was suspicious of NASA's silence concerning comet 76P. Following a chain of what we will generously call reasoning, James visits Mother Shipton, Gordon-Michael Scallion and that old stalwart Nostradamaus, and decided that there is an outside chance that 76P could knock Phobos out of Mars orbit, and directly into the path of the Earth. He projects an impact date of November 12, 2000, although he seems to think that a more likely period would be sometime in October.

Whenever it hits, I, for one, intend to hold my umbrella up high.

Apparently, the UN will take over the world sometime between March 26th and April 24th of 2001. No-one will be able to buy or sell anything without UN authority after May 2001. And a worldwide famine will begin by September of this same year.

Consider yourselves warned.

She notes that she expects the Rapture between now and the start of the Tribulation. Anyone want to take bets that this is going to come down to the wire?

Update (5/30/01) : Marilyn seems to be in her quiet phase right now. Traditionally, there will be a few days of utter silence from the Agee camp while she desperately tries to figure out why she is still here. This will be followed by the equally traditional "Monkey Throwing Darts at the Calendar" phase, after which she will announce that, in fact, the Rapture was actually scheduled for next year all along.

Go Marilyn!

Update (6/15/01) : The Monkey/Dart phase is now in full swing. Having already seen June 9/10 go whizzing by, Marilyn is (cautiously) pointing the marker to June 21. It is on this day, apparently, that the Moon will be New, and the Eclipse will be in Gemini, or somesuch. One can only hope that Jupiter aligns with Mars, and Peace guides the planets as well...

At other points in this meandering, barely coherent diatribe, we are told that America will probably be under totalitarian rule before the end of Summer, 1999, and that Y2K (anyone remember that?) will signal the start of an inevitable slide into economic disaster. Seems that a few updates are called for.

Update (2/22/01): Clay explains his "reasoning"...

Sadly, Terence himself will not be around to see these dramatic events: he "relinquished his body" on April 3rd, 2000.